Welcome home. You don’t have to hurt yourself with food anymore!

No matter what your problem with food—compulsive overeating, undereating, food addiction, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and/or over-exercising—there is a solution.

We who are real compulsive eaters find that certain foods and/or food behaviors provide us an instant, if temporary, sense of ease and comfort. We use food to comfort our feelings and quiet our emotions. Once we eat certain foods and/or engage in certain food behaviors, our bodies crave more. This “craving for more” is what we in 12-step programs call an allergy. This allergy makes us compulsive eaters different from “normal” eaters. When we eat our addictive foods and/or engage in our addictive behaviors, we cannot stop. Unlike normal eaters who become satiated, because of our cravings, we eat more (and/or engage in more of our unhealthy food behaviors).

The only relief for many compulsive eaters is abstinence from our triggers (addictive foods/behaviors). Foods full of fat, sugar, salt, flour, or a combination of these ingredients cause problems for many compulsive eaters, though some of us can eat these foods without being triggered. Some examples of potentially problematic behaviors include overeating; eating in front of the TV; eating late at night; eating while driving; eating out of bags, boxes or containers; going back for multiple portions; skipping meals; inducing vomiting; over-exercising; and/or undereating, etc.

Trigger foods/behaviors are the same for those with eating disorders as alcohol is to an alcoholic; therefore, we often refer to our trigger foods as alcoholic foods. We shoot for 100% abstinence from our alcoholic foods/behaviors. If you are a food addict and have yet to identify all of your alcoholic foods/behaviors and/or abstain from them, it may be helpful to watch the Science of Step One workshop which explains the how/why of our powerlessness over food and how our brains and bodies react differently to food, food thoughts, emotions, and life situations from normal eaters. 

Our Science of Step One workshop and our personal struggles make clear three pertinent ideas:

• • that we are powerless over our addiction and cannot manage our own lives;
  • that no human power can relieve our compulsion or make us abstinent;
  • that a Higher Power can and will if we trust and depend on it.

(inspired by page 60 of the AA Big Book).

Many compulsive eaters spend years, if not decades, trying to solve their food problems with diets, Pay & Weigh programs, self-help books, bariatric surgery, therapists, coaches, and numerous other strategies that may address weight loss (usually unsuccessful long-term) but do nothing to address their food addiction. We at Surrender School hope to save you from years of misery repeatedly trying approaches that don’t work. What we offer is a spiritual solution: connecting with and depending on a Higher Power (that can solve your food/life problems) through working the 12 Steps.

For people with addictions other than food, their problem is clear. These people know exactly the behavior/substance from which they must abstain. For example, sobriety for AA members means abstinence from alcohol.  Abstinence for us food addicts is not clear. Our own defined abstinence is what we each do to refrain from compulsive eating. Abstinence can vary among members and may evolve over time. How it evolves often depends upon each member’s own self-discovery, willingness, and step work. Compulsive eaters are not powerless over all food; we are powerless over the specific foods and/or behaviors that cause the desire for more.

Many of us find that identifying foods as “green-light,” “yellow-light,” or “red-light” is helpful in defining our personal abstinence.

1. 1. Start by making a list of your red-light foods. Red-light foods are foods that are almost always a problem for you. Either you overeat them, or they lead you to binge on other foods. We consider these foods “alcoholic foods.”
   2. Next, make a list of your yellow-light foods. Yellow-light foods are foods that are sometimes problematic or foods about which you may be unsure.
      • Example 1: I’m not sure if lattes cause me to overeat other food or not. I know they don’t cause me to drink more lattes, but I am not sure if I overeat other foods later.
      • Example 2: I can safely eat olives in a restaurant, but at home, I will always overeat them.
      • Example 3: I can eat bread alone, but I will always overeat it if I put butter on it.
      • Example 4: I can eat fruit if it is stored in the refrigerator; however, if it is out on the counter, I will almost always overeat it.
   3. Last, smile! All other foods are green-light foods.

 

At Surrender School, abstinence for many is defined as not eating foods on your red-light list (your alcoholic) foods. You may add foods/behaviors to your red-light list as experience teaches you more about what you can/can’t handle. Some people are able to maintain abstinence from day one and others have more trouble. Do not be discouraged. Keep learning, keep moving forward, keep coming back. There is no failure; there is only learning. Remember the solution is spiritual—there is no such thing as a magical food plan. Your Higher Power can give you the guidance, strength, and courage to achieve abstinence.

A food plan is different from abstinence. Food plans simply serve as a tool to lose, gain, or maintain weight. Follow your food plan to the best of your ability—that is to say, imperfectly. Food plans can come from OA’s “Where Do I Start” pamphlet, a nutritionist, or another source you trust so long as the plan allows you to maintain abstinence from your alcoholic foods/behaviors.

Listen to the Food First (Step 0) Meditation and use the following strategies to help you set yourself up for success so that you can get and/stay abstinent:

1. 1. Automaticity: Make everything around your food automatic and routine so you don’t have to think about it or make frequent decisions about when, where, or what to eat. For example, one member says, “I do all my food prep for the week in one afternoon. It takes me about 2½ hours to cook, weigh/measure, and package my food. Then meal prep is easy, quick, and simple.”
   2. Control your food environment: It may be helpful not to leave food on the counters or in places where you will stumble across it. For example, if your family has candy, chips, or other food that is a trigger for you, have them store it out of sight and/or in a place inaccessible to you.
   3. Listen to12-Step recordings: You can find them on YouTube, oa.org, Los Angeles Intergroup, other OA intergroup websites, and on the “Extra Credit” section of Surrender School’s webpages for working each of the 12 steps.
   4. Find non-food feel-good activities: Examples include  bubble baths, a special cup of tea, watching a special movie, taking a nap, reading, taking a walk, listening to an audiobook, etc. A fun resource is 100 Alternatives to Mindless Eating.
   5. Learn what your brain and body are telling you: Learn to decipher the signals in your brain and body.
   6. Get distance between the initial food thought (over which you have no control) and the food action (over which you do have control). You can get this distance through a path of inquiry and/or by taking action.

 

These questions may be helpful:

• • • • Is this food thought true?
      • Is this food thought in my best interest?
      • Will I have peace of mind after following through with this food thought?
      • Is this food thought bringing me closer to where I want to go and/or who I want to be?
      • Is this a loving thing to do to my body?
      • What do I REALLY need right now?
      • What would REALLY make me feel good right now?

These actions may be helpful:

• • • • prayer/meditation/breathwork
      • writing, reading, calling someone, going to a meeting
      • taking a walk or other exercise